Friday, July 30, 2004

Up In Smoke
So last weekend I bounced down to Bonsal to celebrate one of the last weekends (as a free man) of one of my good friends. I brought him a 40 of King Cobra (actually it was a 32) and purchased waayyy too much money in fine quality cigars.

So I roll up on his house and I've got the forty brown-bagged in my hand, the cigars riding shotgun in my front pocket and right before I rang the doorbell, something came over me telling me to put the forty in my backpack.

So, I ring the bell and my friend's mama opens the door and I step inside the house and to my shock there's all these moms from my old private christian school just chillin there in the living room, like a whole fucking gang of these hardcore christian mammas. So I say "Hi," and roll by.

Now in my head, I'm worried that this party that's suppose to be going down which is suppose to be a hardcore drinking vice sinning party.

So I throw my backpack, loaded with all sorts of questionable sinning materials in my friend's room, where his two 4 year old nieces or whatever are playing in and in the back of my head, I'm worried that they might open the forty and get their nasty drool on it and fuck up my good gift to him. So his mom is leading me outside and again by the pool I see this whole gang of christian bitches and dads.

I finally locate my friend who is practicing on the "driving range" (the nature preserve over the fence of his backyard, where he has dragged an enormous broken satellite dish). I soon learn that the party is in fact going down.

This pleases me.

So at alright 8pm or so, the bitches finally get the idea and bounce out of the house, whereupon we start our sinning. I don't know how much drinking I did, but I think I gave my liver a good workout. Actually I felt kinda guilty about doing so much bodily harm to myself. We also blazed all the fine quality cigars that I bought (around 10 or so) however we had to do it ghetto style, passing them around like a J. At one point in the night, I had a Camel riding in my left hand and an Arturo Fuente Hemmingway "Short Story" riding in between my index and middle in the other hand, alternating between the two.

Needless to say, the lungs, mouth and throat got a thorough lashing. I'll be abstaining from alcohol and smoke till the next of my friends begins some long journey which requires alcohol and cigars to commense.


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Sunday, July 04, 2004

From an EMT Supervisor to An EMT

The job of an EMT is "not to save the world but to move the cheese from from freezer A to freezer B."

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