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Monday, August 30, 2004

Nuevo Telefono!

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So when I call, I'm going to be calling you from this, biyatch.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004

The Mean Streets of S.D.
So I bounced down to S.D. this weekend to visit a friend before he departs on long journey to China (no he's not digging he's way to China, he tells me he has a plane ticket). Naturally we had an interesting time. Of note, some drunk guy (I think he was drunk) walked into my friend then tried to start a fight (which would have resulted in him breaking a nose or damage to other soft tissue) with my friend. The drunk guy's friend, wise as he was (and seemed somewhat likeable) was actually smart enough to realize that it might be a bad thing for his drunk friend to try to start a fight with my friend and appologized and dragged his idiot friend away. It's amazing how fast things like this happen, because It was over neary as quickly as I noticed my friend was missing.

We also saw some fine SD honey dancing in the window of this gay-esque trendy men's clothing. Some lesbian girl was standing outside and howling at the SD honey's dazzling performance. Nearly a block away I could still hear the lesbian girl howling. She had also mentioned (to her lesbian girlfriend) that she wanted to grab the SD honey's tight ass (ditto that).

Finally, the other interesting thing (that I'm at liberty to divulge) was that a drunk gentlemen (who apparently had been hit by a dude in a convertible mercedes) tried to fight the dude in the mercedes. This didn't work out too well for the poor chap as the bicycle cops tackled and took drunk dude's ass to the ground. I'd be pissed too if someone hit my drunk ass in the car (although attacking someone in front of a gang of cops isn't even the 3rd or 2nd worst decision someone could make in that situation; it was definetely the worst possible decision).

Anyway, I wish my good associate an excellent trip to The Land of Communists and Nunchuks.

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Thursday, August 26, 2004

My Psychology "Professor" Is An Idiot

Maybe intelligent Psychologist is an oxymoron. Probably not, as I have quite a few friends who are psychology majors who don't seem to think so. What I do know, however, is that MY psychology "professor" is an idiot.

So today, I'm in class, just chilling, kicked back and listening to her lecture, which was moderately intersting. Clearly no one else in the class cared or anything, because she was asking questions that were really simple and was getting like no response.

She was talking about how the higher thinking in the brain may (I'm not sure if she said may or does, which is why the following occured) occur not actually inside of the brain but around energy fields surrounding the brain (so our conscious is in this energy field or whatever ... a bit tough to swallow, but okay, I'll buy that). Then she goes on to say that because we have light photons passing through the body (This is absolutely false, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she isn't a physics teacher. Light photons are not high enough energy pass through our body. Anything that is able to pass through us we consider hazardous high-energy radiation, as it's not particularily good for you.) and passing through this energy field in our brain and that we're all immersed inside this electrical soup (or membraine or something as she described it). So, if someone in the class has bad thoughts (racist, hatefull, ect), then we will all be exposed to these bad thoughts and that will be bad for us.

At this point, I had to say something. I was thinking well maybe this is just a theory or something that's cutting edge that's she presenting to us and she's not actually presenting it to us as being factual. So I asked her a simple three word question "Is this proven?"

And of course, she becamse totally indignant, and immediately whipped out with "What do you think? Do you think I'm giving you a bunch of imformation that isn't true?" To which I responded "Well, I don't know, that's why I asked. I wasn't sure if this was proven or if (I'm getting a little bit pissed with her angry response, and felt the need to dig in a little, because I'd obviously already pissed her off.) it was just some theory that you had."

She didn't actually ever anwser my question, but instead asked that class if we thought she would give us information that wasn't proven. To which one student (I don't know if he was a wise-ass or an idiot) responded "No, whatever you say is always true!"

The most ridiculous part of this whole situation is that the first day of class she told us that we should be questioning and will be caused to question a lot of our persceptions of reality and our beliefs.

Well I'm questioning you, bitch.

--J

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Sunday, August 22, 2004

Burn baby, burn.
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Saturday, August 07, 2004

Shyne On

So I was watching MTV the other day (yeah .. yeah I know) and they were interviewing this black dude up in Clinton Correctional Facility. Anyway, this dude turns out to be a pretty cool (even though he's doing 10 years) gangster rapper, though he's not very big. So, as an interested individual, I logged on to DC and snagged a few of his tracks. The producing sucks, but this dude is totally ghetto cool, check out these lyrics:

From That's Gangsta:
I got a question; as serious as cancer
Where da fuckin safe at? Somebody better answer
before I start killin and fillin these double-I slugs
...
A hundred carats in the watch (THAT'S GANGSTA)
Gettin skull off in the parkin lot (THAT'S GANGSTA)
Feel the knot when you loft (THAT'S GANGSTA)
Takin over spots and blocks (THAT'S GANGSTA)


From Watcha Gonna Do?:
Evil grin,dead eyes,walkin wit a bock, monster
Best way to describe my posture
In this world of sin hummas wicked as they come
Moonlightin' as a rapper get this ticket and I'm done
Ain't enough money here I ratha be in the tropics
Wit cau-si-cans when narcotics is the only topic
Persian rocks and things the man that made of snow
Tiger par
And every other form of raw


As you can see, this dude is pretty hardcore. Check him out if you can.

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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

A Brief Treatise on the Thong

From the earliest beginnings of time, man has sought to cover his nudity and to prevent chaffing with perhaps, the most glorious invention of all time -- underwear. Why is it, then, that if underwear is so important, that we still exist in the dark ages of underwear technology? The underwear we wear today has changed little since it was contrived hundreds of years ago. However, there exists a form of underwear, derived thousands of years ago by the ancients, so advanced, that it has been rejected and marked taboo by all those who have not embraced it --
the thong.

The thong is based off the idea of a line segment, placed perpendicular, to another line segment of twice the length the original line segment. The thong is often reinforced by an equilateral triangle, which not only boosts structural integrity, but also provides a reasonably large surface area for a neat logo or print. This is a most perfect shape -- roughly resembling a "T," it is both structurally sound and efficient -- requiring less than 1/8 of the material used by conventional underwear -- the thong does not restrict movement, and is not nearly as cumbersome as conventional underwear. Both aesthetically pleasing, comfortable, and attractive, the thong conforms to the wearer's body, rather than forcing the wearer's body to conform to it, as other underwear does. This symbiotic relationship with the wearer promotes harmony, is logical, reasonable, and natural.

In these times -- when our resources (and underpants) are stretched nearly to their limits, it is essential that conservation begin at the sub-clothes level. Thongs, not only require less material to manufacture, but they also require less water to wash, and less energy to dry -- as they require little energy to evaporate absorbed water. As our nation undergoes a power crisis, there is much talk of restricting excessive (wasteful) use of electricity, but unfortunately, conservation via undergarment selection has been largely over looked.

As we enter a new century, the ability of our environment to support us is constantly being challenged. Other engineering issues of the thong will challenge scientists and underwear designers such as, how to eliminate the unwanted "ride-up" affect that has been often associated with the thong, making it a very "risky" and often, quite embarrassing form of underwear to use. However, as science progresses, and as the mysteries and secrets of the thong are unlocked, undesired effects will be eliminated in the years to come, making the thong not only a sensible and efficient form of underwear, but also an extremely desirable one.

For these reasons, every man, woman, and child, should dawn a thong from Monday to Saturday, but never on Sunday. After all, who wants to see a thong on Sunday, the Lord's Day?

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Monday, August 02, 2004

Get to Know the Real j

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