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Monday, September 20, 2004

I'm real

So today, this chick I know accused me of not being "real", being "detached", "superficial" and not taking things "seriously." Well, J-LO had to write a song convincing people that she was "real," where she says brilliant things like:

Cause I'm real
(The way you walk, the way you move, the way you talk)
Cause I'm real
(The way you stare, the way you look, your style, your hair)
Cause I'm real
(The way you smile, the way you smell, it drives me wild)
Cause I'm real


What type of crap is that? I'm not convinced. There's tons of fallacies in that argument that I could point out. However, her fans were apparently convinced about her "realness."

Anyway, I'm going to convince you that I'm totally real, and I don't even need to write a song about it, or anything like that. I'm going to convince you in the text baby.

First we've got to ask ourselves, "What is real?" For that anwser, I consulted urbandictionary.com (where I get all my real world definitions, because I am real, afterall).

"Often used by someone to describe themselves as "genuine" or "authentic". It is perhaps the most overused and generic word in current use, rendering it almost meaningless. Browse any personals advertisements and every other person who lacks a sufficiently descriptive vocabulary will describe themselves as "real".

I am for real.
"

Hmm, okay, so... I'm not real, because apparently real doesn't mean "real" anymore. How about authentic? I'll argue that I'm authentic.

So my first question to you, you bastards out there that don't think I'm real (a minority I'm sure), what is it that makes you think that I'm not real? Real is me being me, I can't prove that I am real, because being real is the absense of not being genuine.

And I don't know how being "detached" or not "taking things seriously" makes me not real? That's how I am. Really? Yes. Really. I genuinely don't take things seriously and am genuinely detached, I'm not trying to be this way, it's just the way that I am.

And what is this "superficial" crap? I also consulted urbandictionary.com for a definition of superficial:

Barbie...

Barbie is a superficial bitch!!


Okay, um .. barbie is a plastic doll. She's pretty. And she's a bitch because she's pretty? No one knows what barbie is like, because she doesn't exist. People can't have the quality of being superficial in fact, I think the only people that say stuff like that are either envious or are, in fact, superficial by their own twisted idea of the definition.

Regards,
--j

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